Stuck

A "there but for the grace of God go I..." item in the British news. According to the BBC, firefighters rescued a 60-year-old man after he became stuck 40ft up a yacht mast. He had been carrying out maintenance on his boat when the pulley system jammed. I know, not earth shaking, but one of the funny details in the brief is...he waited two hours before calling for help on his cell. I'd liked to be privy to the conversation he was having, with himself, after the first 5 minutes.

"We'll I've bloody blown it now. Damn it's cold. Blast, this thing is jammed tighter than the queen's arse."

"Maybe you should call ol Bollyhocks in the pub to come 'elp ya."

"Shyte, I'll be the laughing stock. The boys an em'll razz me for a fortnight or more. Never live it down."

"Brrrrrrrrrr. Me Mum is warm by the peat fire watching telly. Call her. She'll have mercy."

"Nah. I'll wait it out. Maybe if I bounce a bit she'll come loose."

"Brrrrrr...."

...and so on ;-)